I've turned over a new leaf. Made a new resolution. Decided to have a better week.
I've been letting circumstances get to me. And they've been getting to me to the point that they're affecting me and my husband. And NOTHING, repeat, NOTHING will come between us.
So, here and now, I promise you, Jack, that I'm not going to let the outside stuff inside. I won't get so caught up in being annoyed with others that I let that annoyance spill out onto you. You don't deserve it. You are incredible. And even though you're not reading this, you will see a change in my behavior and in my moods - I'm sorry I've been so tough to live with these past couple of weeks. I will leave work at work.
The funny thing is, even with what I've been dealing with here at work, this job is galaxies better than previous jobs. I guess the difference is me: I'm not handling stress as well as I used to when I was younger. I admit, it's harder for me now to deal with change and stress and upset. But I had a conversation with God this Sunday, and I made Him some promises and I know I can count on Him to help me keep my promises to Jack.
Mother's Day was lovely. Church with Jack at 8am, breakfast with Jack and Mom and my sister and her beau. And he's doing well. He's stopped the chemo and the radiation: he wasn't able to finish the course of the treatment, but the doctors had chosen the high end of the range. They wanted him to take 34 radiation treatments; he took 30. They wanted 3 of one chemo and 4 of another; he took 3 and 3. That's still within the acceptable treatment plan, so they were okay with him quitting. He started to get burns on the back of his neck from the radiation on his throat; that's when he asked if he could quit. He's lost some weight, and you can see it in his face, but he doesn't look "sick, like he has cancer." I was so happy they joined us for breakfast!
Then we went to the cemetaries and planted some flowers at my grandmother's grave and at my dad's, and at my in-laws', too. Then Mom went home for a few hours and I cleaned my kitchen. Not too Mother's Day-ish, but it's the first weekend we've been home in months, so I took advantage. And my kitchen sparkles! I made some tuna salad for Jack to take to work this week, and I vacuumed downstairs and upstairs (just have the actual stairs left to do). And I need to straighten up and dust upstairs yet. And I managed to do some exercises with the hand weights. Then my nephew came over; he annoyed me a lot, but I'm not going to go into that here - I've already complained about him enough this weekend... Then it was off to dinner with Mom and Jack - mm, mmm, good! Then some computer work for the After-School Program, and some TV, then sleepies!
I also spent Saturday shopping in the mall. Surprisingly, even though I didn't find a gown I liked, I tried on some cocktail dresses, just to check out the colors and the styles. I was pretty happy to find some short dresses that looked pretty darn good on me - I'm feeling a bit less panicky about finding something to wear, now that I know I can find a short dress if I can't find a gown... I had hoped to post a couple of pictures of the ones I tried on but I couldn't find any photos online...
Guess what! Today I won a monogram stamp set on one of the blogs I read every day! I'm so excited! Thanks, Wendy Sue!