2

I bought myself a new book, one I saw recommended on a few blogs that I read.  The name of the book is 2: How Will You Create Something Beautiful Together? written by Dan Zadra and Kobi Yamada.

The very first page touched my heart.  I'd like to share it with you, and those of you reading this?  Those of you whose hearts this will touch?  You know who you are...  You're welcome!


"From the time we are very small, we know that one plus one is two.  But when the right people come together, one plus one is actually more than two.  Much more.

We are not made to go through life alone.  Everything about us is designed to become stronger, happier, and more fulfilled when we have found our love, our partner, our matching puzzle piece.

The miracle is that sharing life actually makes life bigger.  The arithmetic is magic.  Real love always adds, it never subtracts.  With love, we double our joys, divide our worries, and multiply our possibilities for a life of meaning, romance and adventure.

Yes, life was meant to be shared.  It's not what we have in our life, but who we have in our life that counts.  If you have found love, you have been given life's greatest gift.  How will you celebrate it?  How will you use it to grow? 

How will you create something beautiful together?"


My 13th wedding anniversary is the 25th.  I remember when my nephew got married the year after we did, a friend of my SIL commented to me that I wasn't "the bride" anymore.  You know what?  I still feel like a newlywed!  Maybe it's because I was older when I got married (38) so I have a better appreciation of time and have experienced how it flies much faster when you're older.  13 years is NOT a long time, considering I'm going to be 52 on my next b'day; I've only been married for about 1/4 of my lifetime!

I can't wait to read the rest of this book!  And I'm going to make a concerted effort to be a better wife to my absolutely wonderful husband.  It's so easy to take unintended advantage.  We say "I love you" to each other several times a day:  every time we part, every time we talk on the phone before we hang up, sometimes for no apparent reason and out of the blue.  But I want to show it.  I want to show it in my actions.  I want others to see it when they see us together.  Especially during the summers:  he's home 1/2 the day, every day, while I'm at work, so while I am not on summer vacation like he is, it really is a vacation for me.  The laundry is done, he cooks dinner (or at least gets it ready so all I have to do is heat it up if I get home before him), he runs errands (the dry cleaner doesn't see me at all during July and August!), he takes my Mom where she needs to go during the day so she doesn't have to wait until I get home...  I could go on and on.

And all I do is live the easy life for two months, then hate having to do any of that stuff the other 10 months of the year!  Here's my July resolution:  To read this book, take it to heart, make a real noticeable effort to "create something beautiful together."

We'll see how I do...

The Day before Valentine's Day

I thought it might be a great day to write a post about my husband.  He is one of the kindest, most thoughtful, gentle, hard-working, loving men I have ever met. 

But I can't do it. 

I've been reading some tremendous tributes, written by lovely women about their men, but I can't do it. 

I tried.  I erased this post more than once.  I started it several times.  I am struggling with the words, unable to put into black and white how he makes me feel.

We've been together (permanently) since 1993.  We started dating in 1990, broke up twice (his call), but found our way back to each other each time.

We are not into PDAs, although we do hold hands and kiss each other hello and goodbye.  We are not afraid to say "I love you" in front of family and friends, or even in front of strangers.  We're not into huge romantic gestures, though, no big bouquets of red roses, no jewelry for each and every holiday, no pajamagrams or Vermont Teddy Bears.  No big gifts, no big showy apologies, no big passionate fights. 

In fact, we don't fight.  We have no reason to fight.  Some people have said that means one of us is lying, but it's quite simple:  the same things are important to both of us - each other, the kids, our families.  After that, what is there to fight about?

Yesterday was World Marriage Day and we renewed our vows in church.  Married couples had to stand and repeat their vows in front of the congregation attending that Mass.  I think we were the only couple in church to kiss each other when we were done.  The words meant even more this time: 

to love and to cherish,

in good times and in bad,

 for richer, for poorer,

 in sickness and in health,

 'til death do us part.

 

I joked with him again, he's stuck with me again! His response was, as always, "I'm not stuck with you, I chose you."

Even though were weren't young when we got married (I was 38 and he was 48), you don't really think about how little time you really have left with each other.  Every day together today is one less together in the future, and I know I want to be with him for many, many, MANY more years.  There was one day a few years ago when he was sick enough that he wanted to go the hospital, but even through that, he was up and moving under his own power.  We got to the hospital and we were walking to the ER door and he stopped in his tracks and said he couldn't walk anymore.  I had to leave him and get a wheelchair.  I have NEVER felt so helpless and scared in my life.  I have never felt the potential loss of him like I did that day, and Lord knows I don't ever want to feel that again.  In fact, I keep on telling him I'd better go first...

I can't picture my life without him.  I almost don't remember my life without him.  I look back and say things like "If only we'd been together then..." or "You would have loved..."  My life is full of him.  He doesn't "complete me" (shades of Tom Cruise!) but we are better together than we are apart, we are happier together than we are apart, we would manage if we had to, but we don't want to be apart.

I'm very aware of how lucky I am to have him.  And I know, deep in my heart, that he feels the same way, and he shows me each and every day, in so many tiny little ways.  We don't need big gestures.  It's enough that he reaches for my hand before we fall asleep at night.  It's enough that he doesn't need to go out and have a good time with his buddies, that he wants me to go along.  It's enough to see the "I love you" when he looks at me, even if for some reason he can't say it out loud at that moment.  It's enough to hear "I love you." 

He is enough for me.  He is all I want.

I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that he loves me.  That he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  And that feeling?  For me there are simply no words to describe how that makes me feel.  I feel loved, cherished, honored, protected, cared for.  I know he's proud of me, that he worries about me, that he wants no one but me.  And that feeling, that confidence in our love for each other, that is the gift that keeps on giving every minute, every hour, every day.

Happy Valentine's Day, J!!!

Happy Heart Day!!!

Happy, Happy Heart Day to my very own Valentine!

Hon, you are the BEST husband, a PHENOMENAL father, an absolutely WONDERFUL son-in-law - all in all, you're pretty much PERFECT!!!

I am so very lucky to be married to you, even on those days when you annoy me, but more importantly on those days I annoy YOU!! (I know there are more of those than there are of the other!)

Please know that I love you with all my heart, and I always will, forever and ever.

And when I sometimes forget to show you, it doesn't ever and won't ever mean I don't love you, it just means that I'm being a bit selfish that day. I promise, though, that soon enough I'm going to realize just how rotten I was and I promise I'll make it up to you!

Thanks for 10-and-1/2 years of married bliss, and 20 years of togetherness!

Love you THIS MUCH!!!!

Happy Anniversary to us!
Happy Anniversary to us!
Happy Anniversary to u-us!
Happy Anniversary to us!

8 years.

And more than one person has commented recently that we're "just like newlyweds."

Awww.

I love you, DH. Always.

P has a theory. Her theory is that there is one male brain, and all men share it. If you think about it, it only makes sense. It's so rare that men do things right, sensibly, with consideration and forethought. That absolutely HAS to happen "when they have the brain." We've discussed how they pass it along amongst themselves: perhaps in the bathroom, perhaps in the locker room, perhaps via osmosis (since sometimes you can literally see more than one man have possession one right after the other).

Well, yesterday, yesterday MY HUSBAND HAD THE BRAIN.

As you know, we're under construction at the lake house. One of the jobs we hired the framers to do was install the large sliding glass door onto the deck. [Lord knows I can't help DH with that, it's just too heavy.] Yesterday my DH asked the framers, who were installing all the windows on the new 2nd floor, how much it would cost to install the 6 on the first floor that he had planned to install, and remove and close up a 7th.

$400.

And DH had them do it.

WE HAVE WINDOWS. INSTALLED. ALL IN ONE DAY. WITHOUT DH KILLING HIMSELF DOING IT ALONE.
I'm so proud!!!

Now, if only I could talk him into keeping the brain for a while...

Happy Mom's Day, one day late!!!

I spent Mom's Day at my SIL's. As always, I had a lovely time. To top it off, my own mom got to come, too, and I love it when she can come with me. Family is so very important to me; my first choice of anything to do would be to spend time with my family. My family includes my family, DH's family, our friends - anyone we care about and anyone who holds a special place in my heart. It doesn't have to be fancy. It doesn't have to cost a lot. In fact, DH got me the most beautiful card - but you know what meant the most to me? When I opened it, before I even had a chance to read it, he told me that the "words were special," that he liked what the card said.

Words are important to me. I don't know what you mean, I know what you said. I can't tell you how many times I've said this to someone! Reading. Books. Words. Me. We go together.

To hear DH tell me that the words meant something to him, that they expressed what he wanted to say to me, what he thinks he can't express himself - that was my gift from him. The best gift in the world. He loves me. And I love him. And that rocks!!!