A New Schedule

I'm so worried that when J goes back to school, I'm going to have to pick up the slack around the house.

He's been one-armed for eight weeks now, but still doing the laundry, the vaccuuming, the dusting, and the cooking with that one functional arm.

I thought I was spoiled before, but now that he's been doing it all around the house (heaven forbid he be bored for a minute!), I'm scared to death I'm going to have to cook dinner again...

Quite honestly, I'm okay with doing the dishes every day.

(Google Image)

Especially when it's all I have to do every day.

(And yes, I realize we're only two people and we use paper plates a lot, but two forks, two knives and two glasses just don't a dramatic photo make!)

Bring Your Child to Work Day

Now, this doesn't work for me.  My kids (steps that they are) are 34-almost-35 and 33, respectively.  Pretty soon I'll be retired and they can bring their old parents to work with them on Bring Your Old Parents to Work Day!

But today, one of my colleagues brought his son and his nephew in for our Bring Your Child to Work Day.  And after the morning breakfast, and after the tour "to places people who work here aren't allowed to go to," the boys have some time to kill so they're sitting in the hotel cubby next to mine.  (We call empty cubbies "hotel" spaces and colleagues visiting from other offices are assigned one when they come to HQ...

They're in the 9 and 11 year old range.  Cute as buttons, they are!

AND THEY TOLD ME I DON'T LOOK 52.  I LOOK 31!  AND I EVEN LOOK THE SIZE OF 31!!!

I told their dad/uncle to give them double desserts today!!!

50 Shades of Chicken (Random House)

Wait, ANOTHER video that made me laugh out loud, although admittedly I'm so glad I had earphones on, and this didn't play out loud in my office....

To those of you who have read or heard about the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy (yea, those books!) AND who love to cook, enjoy!

Kristen Bell's Sloth Meltdown

I SO needed a chuckle this morning.  I didn't know I needed to see this particular video again, but once I did, it was EXACTLY what I needed!  Watch this - I can't help but like Kristen Bell just for this video...



And then, a follow up...

Dove Real Beauty Sketches

Take three minutes from your day and watch this video.  It's so true, that we are our own worst enemy.  I have learned, over the past twenty years or so, to give myself a break, to appreciate what I am and what I have rather than to beat myself up for being too heavy or not pretty enough.  This experiment, sponsored by Dove  Real Beauty, says it all - we are toughest on ourselves and we really don't see ourselves as others see us.

http://youtu.be/XpaOjMXyJGk

They Got Their Man!

Boston law enforcement, along with the FBI, ATF, State Troopers and National Guard caught Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev (19) hiding in a boat in Watertown. His brother Tamerlane (26) was shot early this morning during a wild chase. His brother ran over him when he continued to try to escape.

Congratulations to Boston law enforcement, FBI, ATF and State Troopers on getting their man!

I'm so happy tonight.

The Boston Marathon 04/15/13

I should have posted this yesterday but I was glued to the television screen when I wasn't listening to the radio.

Someone, we don't yet know who is responsible, set off two bombs (three were planned but one didn't go off and was defused).  They killed three people (so far) - one was an 8-year old.  Over 130 people were injured, at least 15 or so critically.  More people might still die.

I just don't understand it.  Where do people learn to have such little regard for human life?  Where do people learn to not just hurt other people, but KILL them?  I know they're sick.  I know there's the proverbial screw loose.  But I know plenty of sick and screwy people who wouldn't KILL someone. 

I wonder sometimes, when I'm thanking God for all those young Americans who are at war, fighting for my liberty, for my country, for ME.  I wonder how they'll struggle and suffer after they are forced to kill someone.  For ME.  And I thank them, each and every one of them.

But this person, or persons, who did this?  They're not suffering.  They're not going to live with the guilt.  They're never going to take a split second to care about any of the families they've destroyed.  This person who decided one day that it would be a good idea to make a bomb, or two or three, thought about it long and hard and decided that the Boston Marathon would be a good place to detonate them and hurt hundreds, if not more, innocent people?  People who were running.  People who were watching.  People who were outside enjoying a nice sunny day.

That person, or persons - YOU SUCK.  YOU ARE HEARTLESS.  I know you're someone's son or daughter, someone's brother or sister, someone's mom or dad.  But you are a HORRIFIC, TERRIBLE excuse for a human being.  This thing you did?  In my humble opinion, it WAY overshadows whatever you might be to or for someone else.  I don't care how great a husband you might be, or how awesome a mom you are, or what a caring child you might be for your aging parents.  YOU ARE A SON OF A BITCH and I hope you are found, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and subjected to the absolute maximum penalty.

And an eye for an eye?  Yea, I'm okay with that.

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

I'm not gay.  But I do believe in equality.  I do believe God loves us all, each and every one of us, regardless of our sexual orientation - or our hair color, or our weight, or our religion, or our gender, or our race...

If a child of mine came to me one day and said he or she was gay, I'd be both loving and supportive, and devastated.  NOT because being gay is wrong or sick or anything like that, but because it's 2013 and people are still torturing and bullying and disowning and hurting their loved ones because they're gay.

I do support gay marriage.  And I'll be seeing this movie in its entirety when it is released.

http://youtu.be/pR9gyloyOjM

Lightening my life...

I simply have too much.  I'm not complaining, per se, but I'm feeling bogged down with all the "stuff" I own, and I want to simplify.

I am so very blessed.  We are far from wealthy but we really don't actively worry about where our next meal is coming from, or if we can afford to put gas in the car, or if I want to buy an extra magazine in the grocery store...  Since J's retirement is looming on the horizon, we've been talking a lot more about how we spend, what we buy, what we need, what we want, how we'll live, where we'll live...

But when I walk into my house, into my room, into my spare room, when I go into my closets, I just feel as though there's too much stuff in my house.  I simply have wasted too much of my money in the past buying things, things I don't need, things I just wanted, and now I feel the need to just unburden myself.

I've always donated clothes and miscellaneous household stuff to the Vietnam Veterans of America, or to the Lupus Foundation.  I've decided that I'm going to put together a selection of work clothes I don't wear too much and contact a woman's shelter to donate them:  there are so many women escaping abusive husbands, women who need a helping hand to move up in the world, and perhaps my work clothes will be just what they need to wear on that special interview. 

I have so many extra scrapping things; I've been donating them to my scrapping group.  But now I'm going to put together some small activity kits and bring them to the hospital and donate them to the pediatric ward.  Perhaps there are a few children who can use a distraction while they're in the hospital for treatment, or while they're recovering...

I was so enlightened by the sheer amount of food I had to throw away after Hurricane Sandy.  I just go to Shop Rite, and I buy what catches my eye.  I never worry about a food budget, or if I should or could buy those chips/cookies/sodas, etc.  I vowed to not buy too much anymore, not more than I can realistically use.  I promised not to overstock my refrigerator and freezer.  FAIL!  I'll have to take a picture of the inside of my fridge/freezer and add it to this post tonight...  We are cooking more, and eating out less, since J is pretty much homebound since his surgery, but I still have so much I really don't need to store.  So I'll be putting together some dried goods and bringing it to the church this weekend.  We have a food box in the vestibule where you can donate foodstuff, and members can help themselves to what's there.  There are quite a few elderly parishioners and some lower income families in the parish, so there are some more people I can help.

I haven't done any of this yet this week, but my heart already feels lighter!

What You Would Find in My Purse

This post needs no further explanation.  Feel free to play along...

1. wallet
2. phone
3. checkbook register
4. coupons
5. mini makeup bag (lip gloss, Tums, Boroleum ointment, lipstick, eye drops, mini perfume atomizer sample, Advil Cold & Sinus capsules, eyeglass cloth, tabletop purse holder, Dayquil geltabs, Tagamet, bandaid)
6. recently paid bills, separated into an envelope for me, and an envelope for hubby
7. business card holder with club cards, gift cards, membership cards
8. reading glasses
9. sunglasses
10. mini hairspray
11. rosary beads
12. receipts
13. comb
14. 2 pens
15. house and car keys
16. whatever book I'm currently reading, and on odd days,
17. my Kindle

Quirks and Pet Peeves

We all have them.  But I've recently discovered that one pet peeve of mine just tops 'em all. 

Without going into graphic detail, I just have one suggestion:  when you use a public restroom, TURN AROUND before you walk through the stall door and leave whatever it is you leave behind...  NO ONE else wants to see what you left behind. 

This has been a public service announcement.

And quirks?  Lord knows I have a few!  So just so you don't think I'm perfect, here are a few of mine, in no particular order:

1. If I have to remember something the next day, I "write" it on my forehead in reverse writing so it would be readable in a mirror, remembering to "wipe" the board "clean" between words.  It hasn't failed me yet.  (No, I'm not nuts, I swear!)
2. I toss my bag, my coat, my scarf and gloves on the nearest chair or sofa when I walk in the house and they can stay there for days.  (I walk through the foyer and right past a coat closet to get into the house.)
3. I make my bed every single day, without fail, but I can go weeks with clothes piled on the chest at teh foot of the bed.
4. I can't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink but I can go weeks without dusting.
5. I pay for my Weight Watchers membership every month but haven't been to a meeting in I don't know how long.
6. See #8 but replace "WW" with "gym" and "meeting" with "the gym."
7. I am newly addicted to meringue cookies.
8. I am very competitive and HATE to lose at board games, Words with Friends, or any other game.  This is why it's best I play Bejeweled against myself rather than against others.
9. I am addicted to my smartphone, despite denying it every time my husband accuses me of it.
10. I don't care if the inside of my car is messy.

I have many, many more, but since I'm writing this at work because I don't feel like working, I'll stop at 10.

A Day in the Life of the Patient...

If it were up to me, a man would have to disclose the type of patient he is (read:  IMpatient!) before marriage.  NOT that I would trade my guy in for anyone, but really?  He's SO bored during this recovery period that I'm being slowly driven insane.  The only thing getting me through this is knowing this is my purgatory:  I'm going straight up to heaven when it's my turn!!!

Here's his typical day:
1. Get up after I shower, around 6:15am.
2. Complain that even with Advil PM or ZZZQuil, he didn't sleep through the night.
3. Forget entirely that he hasn't slept past 5am in YEARS!  Even without his surgery...
4. Go downstairs and have a bowl of cereal while listening to one of the Harry Potter audio books.
5. Kiss his loving wife goodbye and wish her a good day at work.
6. Pace around the house as many time as he can while waiting for the PT person to pick him up for therapy.
7. To keep from being bored, he vacuums.
8. Every day.
9. We don't have a pet or a child.  Every day?!?!?
10. Call his loving wife at work when he gets home from PT so she knows he's home safe and sound.
11. Eat a bowl of ramen noodles for lunch.
12. Disregard all the good FOOD in the refrigerator and choose ramen noodles.
13. On a good day, answer the phone and if he's lucky it's his sister or his friend and not a telemarketer.
14. Go on the computer and search Craigslist for free stuff, watch YouTube videos about repairing snowblowers or carburetors or search Google for "work at home opportunities."
15. On a bad day, sign up for "more info" and generate loads of spam emails into our home email address.
16. Walk the 1+ miles to the train station even when it's frigid outside to meet his loving wife at the train station.
17. Stand outside the car and wait for her in the cold even though he has a key on his key chain.
18. Kiss her hello when she gets off the train.
19. Remove clothes from the dryer and start dinner.
20. Insist on heating up dinner because he can.  He's not an invalid.
21. Complain that he's been bored all day and doesn't his loving wife have anything for him to do?
22. Complain that all his loving wife's suggestions aren't what he wants to do.
23. Watch some TV at night, then drink his Sleepytime Tea and take his ZZZQuil and sleep.
24. Repeat.
25. His loving wife will deny this post if any of you mention it to him.

Surgery Update

Jack had his shoulder surgery Monday.  We got home at about 6:30pm.  I started him on the pain pills right away, based on all the warnings from friends, family, acquaintances and the doctor that the pain would be bad. 

They called the next day and brought him in for physical therapy on Tuesday.  Which was fine.  Because the nerve block had not warn off yet.

But it did, later that evening, and it was bad.  He's a strong man, but this brought him to his knees.  At 2:30am he finally asked me to call the emergency number and the covering doctor told me to double his pain medication and add 4 Advil every 8 hours as an anti-inflammatory.  Since Jack made a big deal with the doctor that he didn't want Vicodin, so he was given Nucynta, which is usually used for patients with a sensitivity to Vicodin.  Once the double pills kicked in, it was like someone took a hundred pounds off him...

We changed the dressings yesterday and again today.  5 incisions, 10 stitches, total.  1 big bruise.  Yesterday he wanted to take a shower, so we covered the incision site, he took his sling off - and was shocked to find that he couldn't hold the weight of his arm up on his own!  I got my old sling out and he wore it in the shower.  You always feel so much better once you shower...  He said today's therapy session was a bit more intense, that his shoulder is moving better than they expected.  Not well, mind you, but it's moving which is a good thing.

And then there's the snow.  It snowed, about a good 5 inches.  Light and fluffy, thank goodness, because I had to clean off the car and shovel around it so we could get to the gym.  Danny, our neighbor, shoveled our sidewalk, a path up our driveway and our steps early this morning.  When I went out to clean off the car and the path to the car so Jack could get out there safely, he came out yelling for me to get back in the house, that he'd take care of it, he told me he would...  I explained he could happily do the rest, that I was just getting Jack out the door to go to therapy.  Then he said I should have called him and he'd have cleaned off my car...

It's nice to see people help Jack once in a while; he's always the one doing for others, it's ingrained in him.

Tonight I'm going to suggest we play a game, watch a movie, do something together that is interactive and will hopefully keep his attention - he's so bored and depressed.  And being laid up is so hard for him.  T came over yesterday for a couple of hours and he got so tired but he didn't want to tell T to leave...  So then he felt tired and cranky... 

I'm working from home today. It's so inconvenient to not be able to ALT TAB between windows; my database opens on a separate desktop so I can't use that shortcut. I can ALT TAB to the database from my desktop, but once in there, I have to minimize the windows to get back out to my laptop desktop. AND, to make it worse, the ENTER button in the numbers panel doesn't work - I have to use the ENTER button in the alpha panel. Everything is ISBN driven so it's a pain to have to remember to go to the alpha keyboard to enter any field entry. If I don't I'm erroring out all the time.

I'm going back to work Monday, but I'm going to talk with my manager about working from home a day or two a week for a few weeks - I know it's going to be a fight at my end, with Jack, but he's not one to entertain himself with TV or a book, like me.  He needs to be DOING and right now there's no DOING...

Will post more soon...

Why????

We were doing so well! 

We were working with CompServices on his workman's comp claim and THEY.WERE.WONDERFUL.

And he came home yesterday with a notice the Board is switching to some other workman's comp company and what do we do now with a claim started with CompServices and the surgery is MONDAY and he's going to get prescriptions and should we use the old card and I'm NOT waiting to fill them until we get a new card from the new company because the doctor already warned us he'd be in more pain than before the surgery and what if these new companies aren't as easy to work with?

Yea, I planned to keep going but even I ran out of breath reading it.

I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE existing claims stay with the covering agency.

Please keep whatever you can cross, crossed.

What If I Change My Mind...

Think his head will explode if I decide against my distressed off-white cabinets to come and order this kitchen???  (P.S. The answer is a resounding YES!)

Contemporary Kitchen design by Charleston General Contractor Phillip W Smith General Contractor, Inc.

53 Jokes in 4 Minutes, by Hank Green

Here's 4 minutes you'll never get back, but it's worth it this time!  (Not like The Wicker Man, which is 1 hour and 28 minutes I'll never get back but it seemed like 4 hours...)

This was fun!  Thanks, Dooce, for finding it!

http://laughingsquid.com/53-terrible-jokes-told-in-4-minutes-by-hank-green/

And just for $hits and giggles, here are (drum roll, please) "Goats Yelling Like Humans."  And yes, I did watch all 2 minutes and 4 seconds (they went really fast!!!).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpccpglnNf0&feature=player_embedded

Bullying

If you have 7-1/2 minutes, PLEASE listen to the video that Cathy Zielske posted on her blog.
If you've been bullied, PLEASE listen to the video that Cathy Zielske posted on her blog.
If you've bullied someone, PLEASE listen to the video that Cathy Zielske posted on her blog.

http://cathyzielske.typepad.com/my_weblog/2013/02/instead-of-project-life-today-would-you-watch-this.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fcathyzielske%2Fmy_weblog+%28Bits%26Pieces%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

I am passionately involved in supporting anti-bullying and teaching children not to bully.  The funny thing is I never felt bullied growing up.  I never really thought about it.  J thinks it's because I went to Catholic school for 12 years, but I think it's simpler than that.  There were bullies then, but they weren't bullies like bullies are today.  There were a couple of mean kids in school.  That's it.  I'm sure there were kids back then that today would say they were bullied, but it's true when I say times were different then.

A couple of years ago there was a Facebook thing going around, asking if "you were a nerd when you were in school."  My response was, and I thought I was being funny, was, "I never thought I was a nerd, but you'll have to ask the kids I went to school with."  (Sorry about that dangling preposition!)  Imagine my shock and horror when a girl I was friendly with in high school responded with this (paraphrased) reply:  "Krys, of course you were a nerd, but look at the people you hung out with:  we were all nerds!"

I was - and I'm almost ashamed to admit it - so hurt!  I was a bookworm, sure.  I was one of the studious kids, I admit it.  But a nerd?????  No way!  In that short, 20-word sentence, it was if someone pulled me totally off balance, knocked me off my feet, stabbed me in the heart, rewrote history!  (No one ever said I wasn't dramatic!)

There is no valid reason to bully anyone, not a single person.  Everyone deserves to be and should be treated with respect.  Each and every person on this earth is valuable.  Race, color, religion, sexual orientation, hair color, height, weight - all "reasons" people have been bullied.  In fact, people have been bullied for no good reason.  Many times the bullier is the reason for the bullying, his or her insecurities, lack of self-worth and lack of self-esteem.   It's not a good reason, but it's a reason.

We should all take it upon ourselves to fight this battle against bullying.

Surgery Is Scheduled

So on March 4, J will have his shoulder surgery.  It's confirmed:  2 torn tendons and a rotator cuff tear.  The doctor promised he'd try to get J back to pre-work-injury health but that if he'd come when he first hurt his shoulder (and I quote:  "15 or 20 years ago"), he could have gotten the shoulder back the way it was in J's 20s!!!  J said he doesn't remember hurting that shoulder, but the doctor said there was quite a bit of atrophied muscle so it's obvious he did, and then powered through it, ignoring the injury and the pain.  That was the first time we met the doctor and he pegged J but good!!!

I was so afraid that since it was a workman's comp event we'd be sent to the doctors from hell, that we'd be sucked into the black hole of red tape and paperwork that would never be resolved because we all know government workers just take home a paycheck and don't care about their work...  (FYI:  That was a JOKE, people!  Although I admit to fear that working with the comp people would be problematic at best.  We've all had insurance fiascos, I'm sure...)

But, OMG, the people we had to work with at the comp office, along with the doctor's office staff, were absolutely phenomenal!  They responded to voice messages, they got things done, the comp people even had to get the doctor's surgical center approved as a venue so they could pay for the surgery, and they did it all!  We're dealing with CompServices, Inc.  They handle workman's comp claims in NJ and in PA.  I guess the government has farmed the work out to third party handlers and they have been wonderful.

The doctor told J that if we didn't like him now, because of his recommendation for surgery, we'd probably really hate him post-surgery.  The pain he's going through now is apparently nothing compared to the suffering after the operation.  He said if J is in the 40% of his patients who don't feel immediate relief, and there's a chance of that since there's so much damage in the joint, we'd be calling him demanding another MRI "because there's no way that [he] fixed the shoulder because [J] is in worse shape than before the surgery..."  He told us up front he's going to refuse another MRI, IF of course the surgery goes the way he feels it will, because it might take two months to see/feel any improvement.  Ouch.

Then the bad news.  And yes, SURGERY was NOT the bad news.  The BAD news was that J could be out of work, according to the surgeon, 9-12 weeks.  Completely unacceptable to my husband.  The doctor agreed that if his recovery and PT went well, that he'd consider 6-9 weeks, with a return to light duty.  You know, where you TEACH the kids to do a jumping jack, but you don't do it yourself.  Yeah, like that will ever happen...  But he made a point of telling J that doing the PT was good, that doing a little more at home, as advised by the therapist AND the doctor, was okay, too, but that OVERdoing it was NOT.  We had to explain that to my thick-headed husband a couple of times...  (Just kidding, J - love you!)

I'm going to take the day of surgery off, and the day after as well, and I'm planning to work from home the rest of that week.  J thinks that's overkill and I should go back to work the day after the operation.  (Don't know why he didn't tell me to go in after the surgery...)  I'm leaving it all up in the air for now, but have told my manager my plans and he's okay with them.

We've been warned by many that laying down will be impossible for him so we're borrowing recliners from our niece.  We were going to get them tomorrow, but we're waiting until next week now, because she's sick (and her husband is, too) and we can't take a chance that he picks up something.  It's bad enough he spends 7-1/2 hours a day with KIDS and their germs...

Keep your fingers crossed for the surgery and for my his recovery.  Thanks!!!

Not Too Happy with Home Depot Today...

SO, we went to Home Depot and surprise, I'm getting the cabinet style I wanted!  Off white, traditional with a twist of modern, and a hazelnut glaze to add a little distressed look to the finish.

C was our designer.  Not that he had too hard a job:  there really is only one place to put the refrigerator and that's what's been holding us up all these years, trying to imagine another option...  Nope, no other option available.  But he DID get me a stove on the wall, not in the island, so I'm happy about that!

He explained that Home Depot does their own measuring now, and that we'd have to pay $99 for the measuring, but it would be credited to the cabinet purchase down the road.  We explained the house was not here in town, but up at the lake, at our weekend home and he said, "No problem!  We go all over NJ!"

Yea, sure you do...  So Steve called us and it turns out Steve doesn't go past Dover.  So he referred us to Pablo and Pablo doesn't work weekends.  He works 15-hour days and apparently deserves his weekends to himself.  Well, Pablo, Home Depot told us there's no problem getting the measurements done on Saturday, but that of course, those appointments go fast so we might have to wait a couple of weeks.

WHICH we were prepared to wait for anyway 'cause hubby dearest is having his shoulder surgery done on March 4.  He won't be installing cabinets any time soon...  But Pablo was a bit nasty and for the absolute FIRST TIME IN 23 YEARS, I heard my husband get snippy on the phone with the guy:  he sounded JUST LIKE I WOULD HAVE!  I'm so proud!

So Pablo starts backpedaling when J complains that we're getting the run around, the HD said we could get a weekend appointment at some point, that he's the SECOND person we have spoken with and if he's unwilling to do his job, we'll go back to HD and just get our money back and take our $15000 kitchen somewhere else...  All of a sudden he can come on Sunday - get this:  "on my own time, at 6:30am."

FIRST of all, Pablo, you're getting paid for your time.  You're not doing this out of the kindness (ha!) of your heart!  And SECOND, 6:30am?  Really?  You'd better be there at 6:30am or you'll be subject to the wrath of Krys since she's going to have to get up at around 5:45am on a Sunday, on a Sunday in the middle of a long weekend!  If the phone rings with some nonsense about "I can't find your street, it's not on Mapquest," ALL BETS ARE OFF, PEOPLE!  Pablo is in for some trouble!  (After he accurately measures my kitchen, of course...)

Paperman - Full Animated Short Film

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this short film!  Hope it wins the Oscar for Best Animated Short Film!!!