Sunday Is Mother's Day

I know you're all going to say, "MY mom is the best," but the only other two people on this planet who are allowed to say this are my sisters!

Our mom IS the best.  THE best.  The BEST.  THE BEST.

My mom hasn't had an easy life.  Let's just recap it (very briefly):

She was born in Poland.

She left Poland at the start of WWII to go to Siberia.

She left Siberia, traveled through Iran and Iraq, and left for Africa from the port of Pahlavi.

Went to East Africa, Mombasa, to be exact.  She was then relocated by train and trucks to Nairobi, then to camp in Koja, Kenya.

They were relocated again, to Masindi in Western Uganda, and then to England by way of Egypt.  She traveled by boat, went through the Suez Canal, through the Mediterranean Sea, throught the Strait of Gibraltar, and up to Liverpool, England.

She lived near Newton Abbot in Devonshire (now Devon), in England.  She attended high school and college in England, then relocated again.  She traveled by boat on the second Mauretania in 1952, to New York City, and eventually to NJ, where she met Daddy and the rest is MY history...

She is without a doubt the strongest woman I know.  She has survived WWII, living in camps an surviving on potatoes, the loss of her home, the deaths of her sister, parents and husband.  She has struggled with many surgeries, survived bladder cancer, suffered much physical pain, with not one complaint.

I have always said that if I could be half the woman she is, half the mother she is, I'd consider myself a total success.

Mommy, thank you.  Thanks for teaching me right from wrong.  Thanks for showing me what a good, strong, loving marriage is.  Thanks for showing me, by example, what a good, strong, loving woman is.

You are an incredible mom, and am proud of you.  I love you. 

And that awesome news you just gave me?  That you're cancer-free again? 

YAY!!!

A New Me...

I've turned over a new leaf. Made a new resolution. Decided to have a better week.

I've been letting circumstances get to me. And they've been getting to me to the point that they're affecting me and my husband. And NOTHING, repeat, NOTHING will come between us.

So, here and now, I promise you, Jack, that I'm not going to let the outside stuff inside. I won't get so caught up in being annoyed with others that I let that annoyance spill out onto you. You don't deserve it. You are incredible. And even though you're not reading this, you will see a change in my behavior and in my moods - I'm sorry I've been so tough to live with these past couple of weeks. I will leave work at work.

The funny thing is, even with what I've been dealing with here at work, this job is galaxies better than previous jobs. I guess the difference is me: I'm not handling stress as well as I used to when I was younger. I admit, it's harder for me now to deal with change and stress and upset. But I had a conversation with God this Sunday, and I made Him some promises and I know I can count on Him to help me keep my promises to Jack.

Mother's Day was lovely. Church with Jack at 8am, breakfast with Jack and Mom and my sister and her beau. And he's doing well. He's stopped the chemo and the radiation: he wasn't able to finish the course of the treatment, but the doctors had chosen the high end of the range. They wanted him to take 34 radiation treatments; he took 30. They wanted 3 of one chemo and 4 of another; he took 3 and 3. That's still within the acceptable treatment plan, so they were okay with him quitting. He started to get burns on the back of his neck from the radiation on his throat; that's when he asked if he could quit. He's lost some weight, and you can see it in his face, but he doesn't look "sick, like he has cancer." I was so happy they joined us for breakfast!

Then we went to the cemetaries and planted some flowers at my grandmother's grave and at my dad's, and at my in-laws', too. Then Mom went home for a few hours and I cleaned my kitchen. Not too Mother's Day-ish, but it's the first weekend we've been home in months, so I took advantage. And my kitchen sparkles! I made some tuna salad for Jack to take to work this week, and I vacuumed downstairs and upstairs (just have the actual stairs left to do). And I need to straighten up and dust upstairs yet. And I managed to do some exercises with the hand weights. Then my nephew came over; he annoyed me a lot, but I'm not going to go into that here - I've already complained about him enough this weekend... Then it was off to dinner with Mom and Jack - mm, mmm, good! Then some computer work for the After-School Program, and some TV, then sleepies!

I also spent Saturday shopping in the mall. Surprisingly, even though I didn't find a gown I liked, I tried on some cocktail dresses, just to check out the colors and the styles. I was pretty happy to find some short dresses that looked pretty darn good on me - I'm feeling a bit less panicky about finding something to wear, now that I know I can find a short dress if I can't find a gown... I had hoped to post a couple of pictures of the ones I tried on but I couldn't find any photos online...

Guess what! Today I won a monogram stamp set on one of the blogs I read every day! I'm so excited! Thanks, Wendy Sue!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there in the real world! Hope you have THE most wonderful day! You deserve it!

I've been thinking about the first time my husband referred to me as the mother of his children.

I've been thinking about how much it hurts that I've never had children of my own. This is something that begins to nag at me and hurt whenever my husband asks me what I want for Mother's Day. I always thought having babies would be a part of my life. I always assumed I'd have at least a few. But things didn't work out that way. My husband has two, from his first marriage, and he didn't want more. He wanted, instead, to spend the rest of his life with me. He wanted us to retire young, enjoy life together, and not have to work for the rest of our lives and die working. It was a hard decision for me to make, in some ways - should I have waited to possibly meet someone who might want to have babies? No, I decided that I loved this man, and I wanted to spend my life with him, even if I wasn't going to have babies of my own. And I don't regret that decision. But it wasn't an easy one, and just because I'm okay with it doesn't mean I don't miss that part of my life I thought would be there. Mother's Day is hard for me. I cry. I cry for the children I don't have, for the children I'll never have. But then I get a Mother's Day card from my daughter, and she tells me she loves me, and my husband gets me the most beautiful Mother's Day card he can find and he tells me he loves me and that his children are lucky to have me for their mother - and all's right in my world!

And I remember each year that there's someone in my life, someone who means so very much to me, who has never wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I think she just doesn't consider me to be a mom 'cause I ain't birthed no babies myself. But you know what? She's wrong. I'm a mom. I'm a darned good mom. I have loved and sacrificed and cared and worried, just like a "real" mom. And I hope she knows who she is. 'Cause it hurts when she ignores this day that means so much to me.

I've been thinking, too, about my mom. I just want to take a moment to pay tribute to her - she is probably one of the strongest women I've ever met. She has a heart of gold. She's strong-willed, she's opinionated, she's kind, she's thoughtful, she's generous. She's taught me that I can do or be whatever I want to do or be, that I'm capable of anything and everything. She has loved me, without exception, every day of my life.

If I can be 1/2 the mom she's been to me, then I'll have outshown every other mom on this earth but her!!!

Happy Mom's Day, one day late!!!

I spent Mom's Day at my SIL's. As always, I had a lovely time. To top it off, my own mom got to come, too, and I love it when she can come with me. Family is so very important to me; my first choice of anything to do would be to spend time with my family. My family includes my family, DH's family, our friends - anyone we care about and anyone who holds a special place in my heart. It doesn't have to be fancy. It doesn't have to cost a lot. In fact, DH got me the most beautiful card - but you know what meant the most to me? When I opened it, before I even had a chance to read it, he told me that the "words were special," that he liked what the card said.

Words are important to me. I don't know what you mean, I know what you said. I can't tell you how many times I've said this to someone! Reading. Books. Words. Me. We go together.

To hear DH tell me that the words meant something to him, that they expressed what he wanted to say to me, what he thinks he can't express himself - that was my gift from him. The best gift in the world. He loves me. And I love him. And that rocks!!!