Tomorrow is 20 years since Daddy died. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him. They're right - it gets easier to deal with, but the missing just doesn't go away. I wish he were here - for me, for Mom, for P and C, for J and A. They just don't know what they're missing, not knowing their maternal grandfather. And Dad? He would have been in his element with grandchildren! He would have been that favorite grandparent, the fun one... I can just see A with him now!

I've been married almost 8 years now, and I still can't watch a bride dance with her father at the reception without crying. It could be in person or in a movie - I'm still just a big wuss when I see that. And I get mad. I get mad that I was robbed of that moment. I remember Ivy (from Sher) telling me I can't get "mad" 'cause that's getting mad at God and that's wrong. Wanna bet?!?? I don't love God any less but it really ticks me off that he took Daddy when he did. What can I say? If that makes me a bad Catholic, so be it, but there are people still living long and fulfilling lives, people who are mean, vindictive, malicious - you know who you are! And my dad, a man with a huge heart, an incredible mind, a phenomenal personality - he's dead. Gone. Forever. Yes, that really ticks me off!

On to other topics...

I got a couple of invitations in the mail yesterday. One was an invitation to a bridal shower for Kim (as in Justin and Kim). Their wedding is June 9. Looks like I really have to start exercising and dieting again, BIG TIME, so I can look semi-decent in photos... At least I have an immediate goal. Hope that will be what I need to really stick to WW again. I know it works. It took 20 pounds off me. But I've gained some back, and I MUST START AGAIN. I MUST STICK TO IT AGAIN. I WILL START AGAIN. I WILL SUCCEED AGAIN. I AM SUCCEEDING.

I also got an invite to Stan's surprise 50th. I'd really like to go, just for the surprise part, and the wish him well part. We don't have to stay for the entire thing; we don't know anyone there but the Stan and Cheryl and I think they'll be a bit busy... Somehow I don't think we'll be going, though...

Dinner tomorrow at Villa Amalfi in Cliffside Park with the Hoboken School Employees Federal Credit Union. What can I wear? What can I wear? Hmmm. Black pants... Dressy top... I know! I'll wear the same thing I've worn to all the dinners!! Well, that was easy...

Mom's new bed was delivered yesterday. She says she slept well in it. I'm glad.

Saturday, March 24, is my all day crop. I can't wait! I printed out some pix from C's trip to Punta Cana, and I'll make her a page, perhaps for Mother's Day or her b'day... or just for nothin'!!! I'll work on my card swap, too - 12 "love" cards. Hope they come out respectably okay...

Well - I'm at work. Guess I have to do some. Work, that is...