So far, one dress...

Okay, it doesn't fit, it's a little too big.  I had to hold it up so I didn't wind up flashing the internet...  but so far, this is my favorite dress for the wedding.  I really would prefer a brigher print, and I'm still going to look for another dress, but this one is in the running.

I know it would look a lot better with a tan, and without my sock peeking out at the bottom, and of course, if it fit, but I like it.  It feels comfortable.  It feels like me, rather than me dressed up.

Will keep you posted.

(And by the way, all of you who gave me great advice on those short cocktail dresses?  Thanks.  But now it seems the family is leaning toward longer dresses.

Of course, if I can't find one...

Received two orders today...

... two orders containing some of my favorite things... scrapping paper, stamps, alphabet sets, brads, buttons, labels, and rub-ons based on "The Classics" - The Three Musketeers, Pride and Prejudice, The Wizard of Oz, The Ender, et cetera, et cetera... How could I resist???

And what did the other package contain? Books! The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - A Love Story, by Ree Drummond, .and The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown. I can't wait to start them!




J is building some cabinets for me for the basement at the lake house.  They're not for the summer kitchen, per se, but for the pantry and a counter for the microwave.  There will be some closed in cabinets so that the canned goods don't get AS dusty when he's working on one of his projects in the big room...

We put together the frame of the floor to ceiling pantry today.  Tomorrow he'll start working on the smaller cabinet.

I'm going to the mall with my sister-in-law tomorrow, to start looking for a dress for her son's wedding in Cabo San Lucas in April.  I'm going to start tomorrow with a visit to WW, then a bagel with my hubby, then I'll run home and shower before we start shopping.  Maybe I'll be able to talk P into lunch while we're out shopping...  I'll check Bloomingdale's, Lord & Taylor, Macy's, etc.  If I can even try on a few dresses and get some idea of styles, colors, prints and patterns...

Sunday we'll got to Shop Rite, Mom and I will, after breakfast with J's Uncle Johnny.  Breakfast at the little coffee cafe in the Shop Rite, actually.  (They have some yummy flavored coffees - J really enjoys the Amaretto flavor, while I usually opt for the Chocolate Raspberry.)

I have about 2 or 3 hours of housecleaning to do, too, which I'll probably do after the mall.  A load or two of laundry, clean off the coffee table, match up the dental insurance and send a payment to Dr. M., and then start sorting through our tax paperwork so we can submit our tax returns.  (Yea, sounds like fun, right?!?)

Want to do some reading tomorrow, and some scrapping.  Ordered some photos tonight, for pick up at Costco tomorrow.  I ordered a real cute one of E in J's camo hat.  I chose to print 4 wallet-sized ones so I could use it in my Project Life book...  I have to remember that I have other page protectors that I can use for vertical 4"x6" photos...

Well, it's 10:43pm and I need to just finish my coffee and relax before bedtime...  Talk with you tomorrow...

I feel helpless...

A dear friend of mine, who I met through J, is having a very tough time right now. 

For as long as I've known G, her mom's had a heart condition.  She's 85 years old (her mom is), and it's really quite simple:  it's just not as easy to recover from an attack as it was 10 years ago, or even last year.  She gets bad more quickly, it seems, and it takes longer for her to recover, and she never quite gets back to where she was post-last-episode.

G is having a real hard time dealing with the fact that her mom is, well, she's dying.  There's no other way to put it.  This morning I called and left a message at G's house, just to say hi, we're thinking about you, we're going to be around this weekend, if you can spare an hour...

She called me this afternoon.  She cried.  G is such a strong woman.  To hear her cry and say that she doesn't think her mom will make 2 more weeks - well, it broke my heart.

We forget that strong people hurt, too, and for some reason, when we realize it, it seems bigger and worse than for other people, or at other times, or under other circumstances.  She's so worried that there's so much to do:

1. decide hospice vs. no hospice
2. pick out a dress for her mom to wear
3. sign her mom's new lease vs. not signing
4. if she doesn't sign, she has to empty the apt immediately
5. if she does sign, and her mom dies soon, she has to empty the apt immediately
6. what if there is money in envelopes hidden around the house? she can't leave others to clean the apt
7. her brother doesn't get it - he doesn't realize his mom is dying
8. G's husband ate a PB&J sandwich for dinner the other night (the end of the world, according to G - I was quick to point out that M is an adult and if that's what he made for himself, that's what was okay with him)
9. etc.
10. etc.
11. etc.

She's overwhelmed with thoughts of what she needs to do, what she should do, what she doesn't have time to do, what she can't do.  She's angry because her brother won't take vacation time he doesn't have (he just started a new job a month or so ago) to spend time with their mom now, before she's gone.

Her mom's wishes are to be revived no matter what.  Although, she said, if she's on a respirator and there's no hope, then let her go... 

But G is worried about THAT, too - "if she's on a respirator, I could never pull the plug."

I let her talk.  I let her cry.  I sympathize.  I cry, too.  I tell her how much I wish I could help her.  I tell her to call a mover NOW, move her mom's stuff into her parlor.  Fill the damn room with all her mom's stuff and get rid of what she doesn't want NOW.  If you know you want the new recliner, put it where you want it in your house.  If you know you don't want the rickety old dinette set that you've been trying to replace in her apt for the past 5 years, toss it.  Go through her things later, when you have time.

IF you're positive she's never going to come home.  Because I know her mom.  If she rallies, and if she can come home again, and she finds out G gave up her apt, OOOOOHHHHH, G is in trouble!!!! 

And you have no idea how much I HOPE G gets into trouble with her mom again soon!!!

From Shelf Awareness, today's issue...

'Imagining the 21st Century's Digital Bookstore'


"As more and more Americans choose to order books online, or to switch to e-books, they don't need to patronize physical bookstores any longer. But any sales person ought to know that need and want are two different things.... I can find a much larger selection of books by firing up my Web browser than heading over to my local Borders, which is among those scheduled to close. I don't need that Borders in order to find and buy the books which interest me.

"But, as an enthusiastic reader, I want to have an excuse to get out of the house once in a while and spend some time alone with fresh books and magazines. My middle-school, book-worm daughter wants a place to hang out with her friends after school. No, we don't need a physical place to buy books any longer, but we want that alternative.... While it's nice to daydream as a consumer about the type of bookstore I want to see in my neighborhood, for publishers, a functional 21st-century physical bookstore isn't just a want, it's something we will continue to need."

--Robert Niles in his Online Journalism Review article, "Imagining the 21st Century's Digital Bookstore."

See?  Yet ANOTHER need vs. want discussion...  that applies to so many things in my life:  do I really NEED another muffin?  do I really NEED another set of scrapbooking stamps?  do I really NEED to buy that magazine?  (Yes.  Yes.  And yes again.)

Weddings

I had the most perfect wedding.  The only thing that could have made it better would have been my Daddy alive to walk me down the aisle.

Oh, and I admit I wish the church had air conditioning.  It was the freakin' HUMIDEST day of the year!!!  (Yea, I know that's not a word - it's all for effect!)

But this wedding here?

http://www.stylemepretty.com/2011/02/24/brooklyn-wedding-by-weddings-by-two-bespoke-affairs/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fstyle_me_pretty+%28Style+Me+Pretty%3A+The+Ultimate+Wedding+Blog%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

Okay - they win.  A wedding in a library?  A historical society's library, no less?

I've died and gone to heaven...

He had nothing to do, so...

... he cut down a tree...

See those three trunks, right in the middle of the photo?

Well, you won't see the left one of the three anymore.

It's cut down for next year's firewood...

That's me, walking toward him, out on the lake. It was REALLY slippery out on the ice!

After 65+ degrees on Friday, the temperature dropped to 20+ degrees yesterday, and it was 17 degrees when we got up this morning. The water that was melted on the surface of the lake froze solid, and VERY smooth, so it was great for ice skating.
IF you ice skate.
Which I don't.
The ice is about 16"-18" thick, so it's safe to be out on the ice, but I admit I was surprised when that tree came down it didn't even make a dent or a crack in the surface of the ice...

My Scraproom

Finally, photos of my scraproom -

If you stand in the door to the spare room, this is what you see on the opposite wall.  The green fabric drawers contain either embellishments, stamps, or flowers.  You'll get a peek into one of them later on.  I modified Stacy Julian's organizing by color idea to fit me, and when I did it, I found it SO much easier to create a page.  I tend to choose the photos first, the background paper next, then the embellishments, and then I create a title and journal.  So being able to decide what paper I want by color, to match or contrast or enhance the photo, and then do the same with embellishments - that works for me!

To the right, against the front wall of the room/house, I have a Clip It Up, 2 tiers high, with 1/2 of my alphabets on it.  This was a HUGE breakthrough for me!  Seeing them in front of me makes it easy for me to use them.  I would love to have a room decorated perfectly with closed storage, but I'd never accomplish anything.  I've learned I'm a visual learner as well as a visual doer!  Below the spinning rack is a Polaroid printer I got 6 years ago for $5.  You heard right - $5.  No offense, Polaroid, but it's worth $5.  The colors don't print true and you can't adjust them, so I'm thinking I'll give it away on Craigslist or something later on - I wouldn't even be able to take money for it - I'd feel I was robbing the customer!  That brown horizontal box has photos in it, and the dark basket on top is "stuff" that needs to find a home.  The white wire cubes have, in order from left to right, top to bottom:  stamps, my art journaling supplies (paint, gesso, paper, brushes), that wicker basket will go in one of the bottom cubes (it contains paper I can use as background, books I don't mind tearing up), and that blue folder has assorted photos in it.

This is my tiny desk.  I was happy to get it (it's the first piece of furniture J ever built and he used it for a kitchen table/desk when he bought his first house after his divorce), but now it's simply too small.  I can't even keep my tool spinner on it - that has to stay on top of those wire racks!  In the back is another wooden rack with my Distress Inks in alphabetical order.  That works better for me - I know their names so it's easier to grab Barn Door from the B than go looking for red paints and inks...  Those two piles of "stuff" need to be put away.  That black unit all the way to the right is a rolling rack that I gotfor $25 (originally $89.95 at AC Moore).  It came with a fabric cover.  The next photo shows what's on it...

I took the cover off - there's plenty of room here I'm not using yet.  The hanging files have gallon freezer bags with scraps sorted by color.  The basket on the top shelf on the right contains photo CDs.  I'm a bit worried that they'll become obsolete so when I retire in a few years, that will be my 1st project - be sure the files are on my external hard drive.  If they're not, copy and organize them.  THEN I won't worry that the CDs will go the way of cassettes and 8-tracks...  Plus, there are probably photos on them that I haven't scrapped yet!!!  The shelves on the right side of the unit are empty, except for one project I'm working on, a painted Christmas canvas project from Donna Downey.  The two drawers have my journal, my P-touch, a small photo trimmer...

This is my favorite part of the room.  That wooden unit is a Murphy Bed that J built so that I could use the room but if we have guests, there's a full bed that can be pulled down.  On either side are floor to ceiling shelves that I use for storage.  I was worried about the sun fading my paper so I went to Walmart, spent $4 on a flat sheet (BH&G brand), cut it in half and trimmed it.  I sewed the pocket rod, but used iron-on hemming tape to finish the long edges and the bottom.  Easy!  (Thanks, G, for the idea of using a sheet!)  My ribbons are all sorted by color:  red/pink/white/black, yellow/orange/brown, green, blue/purple.  The shelf at the top is miscellaneous "stuff" right now - a white shelf that needs to be hung up, an altered paint can I'll get rid of soon, and two boxes of fibers I have to sort into my color bins.

This is the bookshelf on the left side of the bed.  Top shelf:  extra empty photo albums.  Next shelf:  a basket of projects to do when I'm bored (HA!), an empty cookie tin that I thought I could use for storage of something, and a couple of albums I put together with pages I got in a scrapping swap, two sorted by 2 pages/month, and one sorted by a theme/holiday for each month.  Next shelf:  plastic drawers with borders in the top one, punched out faces of family and friends from pictures that weren't so great, but their expressions were, and then an empty drawer (except for a few cut-out words from paper or magazined.  Next shelf:  paper storage using Cropper Hoppers, and this shelf includes an envelope of transparencies.  Next shelf:  the green and white bin contains 6"x6" and 8"x8' paper, and there's a stack of notebooks to the right.  Bottom shelf:  the orange and white bin contains alterable "stuff", and to the left of it are some chipboard albums, magazines I'm saving to scrap, and a pink box of letters from my best friend from college.  Okay, some people save love letters...  LOL!

 This is the set of shelves to the left of the bed.  Top shelf:  all but empty, with just an expanding folder with a few photos in it that have to be moved into photo storage. Next shelf:  my idea binder (a project I did online with Wendy Smedley, I believe), card storage for my homemade cards and for store-bought cards.  There's also a photo album of pictures of this house being built that has to be completed and moved out to the sitting room with the other scrapbooks.   Next shelf:  Cropper Hoppers with 8.5"x11" Stampin' Up paper, and horizontal files with my patterned paper in ROYGBIV order.  Next shelf:  the remaining ROYGBIV patterned paper shelves and some page protectors.

I had to take a separate photo of the last two shelves because of the rolling cart, which admittedly, I could have simply rolled away...  Next shelf:  storage bags and a file of magazine clippings for decorating my house.  Bottom shelf:  Sizzix Big Shot, Sizzix alphabets, and assorted other miscellaneous "stuff" to be sorted through and put away someday...

This rolling cart has a project in each plastic box.  From the top down:  a book I'm making for my stepdaughter about her boyfriend/fiance/soon-to-be-someday husband, a vacation album, a home album, and three Christmas boxes (yes, I love Christmas, so what?!?!).  My Cricut lives on top, with the various Cricut doo-dads on the shelf immediately to the right of the machine, just below the ribbons you'll see in the next photo.

Those ribbon storage boxes came from Walmart, and they work but I wish they were closer to my other ribbons.  Oh, well...  Those plastic drawers contain my Bazzil paper, some 1/2 sheets of mulberry paper, and some pads of Bazzill.  There's a jar of binder rings I use for mini-books, a plastic box of mini-books that will move to the sitting room soon, alcohol inks and blender solution, adhesive-backed ribbons, and a whole punch on top of the plastic drawers.  The Stampin' Up craft inks will go somewhere else when I figure out where I'm going to store my Stampin' Up ink pads...

Each of the green drawers contain, for the most part, embellishments sorted by color.  There's a little mini white plastic basket in each to corral the small "stuff", quart ziploc bags for some of the embellishments I picked up at the EK Success warehouse sales they used to have here in NJ, borders, adhesive- backed/themed felt ribbon borders, etc.  For instance, if it's green and it isn't an alpha set, paper, ink or paint, it pretty much gets tossed into this drawer.  Each drawer has a ribbon tied on the handle to indicate what color "stuff" is in it:  green, blue, pink/red, yellow/orange, gold/silver/bronze metallic, purple, black, white, multicolored (where I couldn't decide what the predominant color was).  There are a couple of drawers that aren't color specific:  one of adhesives and tape refills, one of Christmas embellishments, one of my flowers, and one of stamps.

When you look at the white cubbies/ green drawers in the first photo, you'll notice several cubbies without any drawers.  They contain, in no particular order:

• paper tagger
• Crop-o-dile
• a fabric tote with journaling spots
• a wooden bowl with scrap-decorated tags I've either gotten in a tag swap or created myself
• embossing supplies
• markers in a mini 3-drawer unit, paints, and pastels
• stamps in two or three cubbies (some Stampin' Up and other vendors, too)
• boxes with buttons (sorted by color) and other mini embellishments (similar to fishing tackle boxes)
• chipboard shapes
• two metal bins with my punches tossed in them (I don't have a lot of punches)
• blank card/envelopes
• quote books/title books

There's one empty wall on your left when you walk into the room (opposite my desk).  I have a poster to be hung up there, and there's a card table there now with a few boxes on it - boxes of some supplies that need to be stored away, and two boxes of supplies I'm looking to get rid of/donate.  There's also a clothing closet with cardboard, albums, storage containers and TONS'o'photos that I've started sorting according to Stacy Julian's Library of Memories program...

Hope you liked the mini tour - thought I'd do a video, too, but I want to practice that a bit before I actually post it here for you all to see!!!

Not much of anything...

So I have to decide whether to take all of tomorrow off, or only 1/2 of tomorrow.  I WANT to take all of tomorrow, and I'm hoping my baby sister will take a couple of hours to join Mom and me for breakfast and a quick trip to Trader Joe's...  If she can't take the time, I'm not sure...  I might still do it...  Hmm, let's call Mom and ask her what SHE thinks - just hang out for a second...

[One minute later...] No answer at Mom's house.  She's either (a) "washing her hair," or (b) at a doctor's appointment she didn't mention she had this morning...  Guess I'll ask her later...

We're going to the lake tomorrow - for the weekend.  The whole weekend.  Including Monday, when we have off.  For Presidents' Day.  YAY!  We haven't been to the lake for the weekend since Christmas, what with the holidays, me getting sick, Jack getting sick, snow, bad weather, more snow, Mom coming home, more bad weather, a funeral...  just to mention a few of the things that got in the way...  We did take a few day trips up there just to check on the house and so that Jack could do a bit of work on my closet in the basement...  But a relaxing weekend with nothing to do but read and scrap and shop?  Not in wwwaaayyy too long!!!

Which reminds me, we have sort of decided to change the design of the summer kitchen and the pantry down there.  Instead of putting open shelves in the corner near the pump at the bottom of the stairs, I think we're going to go with a full-length pantry from Ikea (yay for Ikea!).  It's better for any number of reasons, not the least of which is that it will be closed in so when he's working in the main room and making a mess, the sawdust or sheetrock dust will, for the most part, stay off whatever is in the pantry.  (Mama didn't birth no fool - I KNOW there will still be some dust inside the pantry, but it will be a heck of a lot less than on open shelves!)  The opposite corner will be some coat hooks for our every day jackets, against the wall of the new coat closet he built me in the family room.  Someday, when I can use one of those floor plan sites, I'll include a floor plan of the house and show you what we've already modified...  maybe that will be my assignment this weekend...  hmmm...

[21 minutes later] Mom called - she's all for TJ's tomorrow, and yes, she was at the doctor's office.  Now we have to convince my sister, who said that Fridays are her worst day - she might do TJ, but possibly/probably not breakfast...  I'm going to try to convince her...

This was a very productive week at work - I got loads done, including a 2 hour meeting in the middle of Wednesday, an hour of yoga immediately following, and some brief visits to my blogroll and Facebook whenever I needed a break.  I would love to stay on this roll for the next few weeks, catch up on everything that is on my desk, including what's been there for months but not handled (!), and leave on vacation and go to sales conference (end of April/beginning of May) with a clean desk, with only current work sitting there, waiting for my return.

A woman can dream, can't she?!?

Anyway, this was my break for this morning...  More "not much of anything" later!

Breakfast...

My favorite breakfast (when I'm not in a restaurant that offers biscuits and gravy) is scrambled eggs with pepperjack cheese, on a wrap, with some hot sauce to dip into...

So today, even though it's 2 days before my WW meeting, I decided to have a real breakfast instead of, oh, more weight-friendly fruit or water with a grape or two floating in it...  So I ordered my eggs and pepperjack on a wrap, picked up the little plastic cup and its matching lid, and reached for the Tabasco sauce...

Which wasn't there.

After the initial panic, I asked the grill guy for some hot sauce.

"Oh, sorry, we don't have any today.  We went through a whole case these past 2 weeks."

"Oh, sorry, we don't have any today. We went through a whole case these past 2 weeks."????????????????

For real?  I'm supposed to just accept that?  Why would you think I care how much hot sauce OTHER people were lucky enough to consume with their breakfasts or lunches when THERE.ISN'T.ANY.HERE.FOR.MY.EGGS???!!!???

So today's ephiphany is:  yes, eggs and pepperjack on a wrap IS my favorite breakfast, as long as there is hot sauce to dip into.

No hot sauce?

Waffles and maple syrup...

No, Stevie, you're NOT the only one!!!

'Real Books Mean Wandering Around the Store'


"I'm actually not so crazy about reading books on the iPad.... This became clear when I decided to buy my favorite book this season, As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child and Avis DeVoto, as well as another treat, In Tearing Haste: Letters Between Deborah Devonshire and Patrick Leigh Fermor. That's the moment I realized the iPad was wrong for book reading. I just couldn't bear to read these electronically. I needed to go to a beautiful bookstore and buy the hard copy and hold it and admire the type and the feel of it. Real books mean wandering around the store, talking to the owner about what's new and great, reading a few pages, buying it, carrying it with me. My iPad works hard enough for me that it doesn't need to download books. Friends love their Kindles and Kobos and I understand, but my heart leaps with the actual book, not the virtual one. And surely I'm not the only one."

--Stevie Cameron, author of On the Farm: Robert William Pickton and the Tragic Story of Vancouver’s Missing Women, in the Toronto Globe & Mail.

'How You Read Not as Important as Will You Read?'

from Shelf Awareness, Monday, February 7, 2011, Volume 2, Issue 1385

"The new immigrants don't shoot the old inhabitants when they come in. One technology tends to supplement rather than supplant. How you read is not as important as: will you read? And will you read something that's a book--the sustained train of thought of one person speaking to another? Search techniques are embedded in e-books that invite people to dabble rather than follow a full train of thought. This is part of a general cultural problem."


--James H. Billington, Librarian of Congress, in a Newsweek poll of "some literary brains on the future of reading."

In this instance, I disagree.  The search techniques are a bonus - IF you are already a reader.  You will read no matter what.  Your reading will not change if you're in a book or on an e-reader.  You will not "dabble rather than follow a full train of thought."  The thoughts are there and you will read them.

My fear is the potential loss of a generation of readers, per se, the loss of a love of books, the loss of a love of reading, when books on an e-reader become a reference tool, as the internet is now, rather than the gift of time lost in another world created by someone's blood, sweat, tears and imagination...  I am afraid people will view books on an e-reader like they look at the internet:  bits and bobs, one-liners, fragments of information like that commercial about how you jump from topic to topic when using a search engine: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jMt6saTqq4

I'm just not convinced that you are sucked into a book, lost in that world, on an e-reader the way you are when those bound pages are in your hot little hands.  I've read books on an e-reader.  I'm not speaking without the experience.  But in my case, one will NEVER take the place of the other.  Admittedly there are circumstances when an e-reader will be beneficial to me - when I have to pay for every piece of luggage I take on vacation by the pound and one suitcase is filled with new hardcovers to read that week?  Uh-huh, an e-reader would be better.  BUT I wouldn't (and don't) enjoy the reading as much on the e-reader.

Perhaps that's my objection - not the tool itself, but the fact that I don't enjoy the activity using that tool as much as I do holding the book and turning the pages.   I have the Nook app, the Kindle app, AND an e-reader app on my iPod Touch.  I've had the iPod Touch since mid-December, and have yet to finish a book/story on it.  I have read 8 books since then...  I play games on the Touch, I read email on it, I listen to music on it, I check the weather at home and in St. Charles (where one of my best friends lices) on it.  But I don't read books on it.  I have Ayn Rand's Anthem on it, one of my all-time favorite stories.  Nope.  I have a freebie version of a Winnie the Pooh story on it.  Read about 3 pages.  Little Women is on one of the apps, too - another personal favorite (I always wanted to be Jo when I grew up!), but no, haven't read more than the intro.  And didn't enjoy it. 

I know part of it is the size; the small screen only allows you to read a sentence or two at a time and I'm such a fast reader that I can't "turn the pages" fast enough; maybe on a bigger screen I might be less angry every time I try to read one...  Although I have the apps on my desktop too and it never even crosses my mind when I'm on the PC to read on it...

Oh well, just another one of my humble opinions...

Happy 100th, Mr. Reagan!!!

You would have been 100 today.  You were one of our greatest presidents, in my humble opinion, at least one of our greatest contemporary presidents.  You were a patriot, dedicated to your country, you had faith and valued your faith above all else, allowing it to guide you in all your actions.  You were funny - and your one-liners reminded me of my dad's humor, delivered with a straight face and followed up with a smile once you knew we all "got it."  Oh, how I wish you were still President!!!  Those are some mighty big shoes to fill...

R.I.P., Kazia

P had to put her beautiful Kazia to sleep yesterday.  She has been suffering these past two months from spontaneous pneumothoraces, so bad that she couldn't sit, sleep, was coughing, panting, losing air into her body cavity from her lungs - basically bulla on the surfaces of her lungs would burst and leak air into her chest cavity.  So she would be panting and panting and not able to get enough air.

Kazia brought P such joy in her 10 years (she just turned 10 on January 26th) and my heart is broken.  How I wish I'd been able to be there, with P for this awful time, but also to love Kazia just a little bit more before it was her time.  She just didn't deserve to suffer, not after the loving and wonderful life she shared with P.

I know this is one of the hardest things that P has ever had to do, and I ask you to send some healing thoughts her way.  Thank you.

We'll miss you Kazia!

It's Friday...

... and I can't wait for the day to be over.  It's 9:39am and yes, I should be working instead of blogging, but sometimes when you can't concentrate, it's better to just take a break and then buckle down later.  I can't seem to focus on my work this morning ---

FOCUS.  I'm wearing my necklace.  Perhaps I just need to use my little touchstone and try to apply myself.  Give me a minute...

Oh!  I responded to an email!  (Stop laughing!  It's a start!)

Talked to G this morning.  Her mom's back in the hospital, for the past week or so.  It's so hard on her, but with her mom suffering from congestive heart failure, it's pretty much par for the course.  G is taking a lot on herself, blaming herself for M not having much of a life, and certainly not much of a marriage.  I jumped on her for that.  If the situation were reversed and it was M's mom they had to care for, they'd be doing exactly the same thing that they are now.  Yes, their lives revolve around caring for G's mom.  Yes, they can't go away or even out to dinner very often.  Yes, G is exhausted and tired and perhaps not great company for M.

But you know what M said to us at dinner a couple of weeks ago?  He said that he'd been reading about caregivers and how their own health and mental state suffer - even in the midst of it, he's worried about G.  And that's the way it's supposed to be.  Of course he misses his wife and the marriage they used to have.   When she retired it was to take care of her mom; wouldn't both of them have liked it to be so they could spend more time together?  Sure.  But this is what it is, for now, and the alternative sucks.  M is worried about G - when her mom finally gives up the fight, and we know she's fighting now, it will be the all time worst thing G has had to deal with, bar none.  And M knows that.  And is already worried.

I took advantage of the opening and told her she.needs.to.bring.someone.in.to.help.  Period.  End of discussion.  If not every day, all day, then at least for part of the day, several times a week, so that G could rest, take a shower, food shop, have dinner with M...  Surprise him at lunch one day...  Go away for a short weekend to recharge...  Or just sit down.  And watch a TV show with her husband.  Or take a nap.

She agreed that she needs to do something soon.  I have to encourage her - she needs a break.  It's not that I don't understand taking the responsibility on yourself:  if I'm late giving her her pills, if I forget to check the oxygen tank, if I close my eyes for one minute...  But G needs a break.  And she needs it before SHE collapses and has a heart attack and winds up in a bed next to her mom.  THEN what?!?!?

I'll mention to J that I talked to her so he can mention it to M.  Perhaps now's a good time for him to encourage her to do something like that.  She seemed more receptive to it, less likely to blow it off...

Well, breaktime is over, and it's back to work...

Photos and Words...

So there she is, beautiful E!!!  I haven't seen her since the Tuesday after Christmas, what with me being sick, J being sick, then the family traveling and our Monday nights going on hold...

Since I saw her last, she's gotten 2 teeth, eaten chocolate icing for the first time (and loved it!), and grown like a weed!!!  Here she is with her Daddy!!!

Here she is in her walker.  IN.HER.WALKER.  I missed that, too!  She has the cutest pink glitter sneakers to give her some traction.  She's not all over the kitchen yet, but it's just a matter of time!  She likes pounding on the noisemakers on the walker and turning the steering wheel!

More chocolate, Mommy!!!

This is the house next to us at the lake.  They pushed the snow down the road into this pile, right in front of our house, but at least they left us room to park!  Can't say the same thing for the neighbors' parking area!

Went shopping at Stein Mart.  Tried on some things, but only got a purple sweater with a little heather grey trim...  None of these items looked good on me, so they went back on the rack.

[I just can't, for the life of me, figure out why I can't left justify the comments for the second photo.  Blogger sometimes drives me NUTS!]